Pull that tree out by the roots!

If you cut a pesky tree at the stump, you can bet it'll grow again. Pull it out by the roots and problem solved.

I had my first panic attack four months before my wedding whilst I was shopping for shoes at David Jones. I remember it clearly as I was so overwhelmed by the horror and spontaneity of it all (the panic attacks not the wedding!) that I ended up in the 'sick bay' of the store then in hospital that night. I didn't know what the panic attach was or where it came from. I was uneducated about it all (and embarrassed) that I didn't seek help. But I learned how to avoid another panic attack by no longer shopping on my own.

I moved past the experience, was married and then moved away. Not long after, I experienced multiple attacks, and chronic anxiety. I was blissfully in love, so this took me by complete surprise and I could not understand why I was feeling so rotten. Nevertheless I left no stone unturned and ended up with MRI tests, hypnotherapy, yoga, massages... I clung on to any type of 'fix' to feel better. I never bothered exploring my feelings and put it down to stress leading up to a wedding and a a big change in my life. Soon after I 'recovered' as around that time we relocated closer to my parents home.

Three years later I had my first child, a beautiful girl. I experience three months of sleepless, and I mean sleepless nights. Not because my daughter was difficult, but the anxiety and panic frayed my nerves to the point of absolute fear and kept me awake twenty-four hours. No one noticed this, as I became a great actor. Once again I just lived with it, without any exploration of self, or understanding of what was happening, until the darkness lifted and I became used to having a child and well I 'recovered' again.

Child number two, and I was in a slightly better place, so I was optimistic about Child number three. Boy, was I wrong and I came crashing down. It was the most difficult time in my life but thank God, it lead me to the right way with full recovery.

Remember that tree? I hear many people say, 'when I leave my job... when I lose weight... when we move house I'll get better,' and it hits me in a certain place. I used to continuously cut my tree at the stump too.