We are all broken. All of us. In some way or another. If we weren’t, we would be perfect, and that’s impossible here on earth.
Yet many of us (me!) can struggle with perfectionism or idealism. Ironically, this doesn’t mean we do everything perfectly, rather we can have this uneasy feeling of not being good enough or measuring up or doing things the right way. We must have missed the memo! It’s stifling and a huge issue, no wonder anxiousness and depression runs rampant.
In getting to know Jesus more and deepening my faith, I expected to feel immediately wonderful and enlightened.
It really triggered that weak part of me, and I had a deeper sense of being imperfect, of not being good enough and I began comparing myself with others. I easily slipped into an idealistic view of how truly faithful people must be, and here’s me screaming (putting it nicely) at my kids, ticking every sinful box, (does hiding in the bathroom with a family-size chocolate bar count as gluttony?). I get frustrated and impatient. This is certainly not the view that fits into the neat little box in my head.
The reality is that we’ll never be complete, or whole until we reach Heaven. I dare say we are perfect now with our weaknesses and failings. This is what life is. It’s messy and gritty. Do we stop trying then and become complacent? No! Everyday we must face ourselves as we are, face the parts of us we don’t like and wish were different.
But we can allow God to work with us and through us, lifting us to make the effort to strive no matter how many times we fall. Let’s keep moving and trying for better, for a richer life. Not in a self-abusing way or in a way where we allow the negative thoughts to discourage us and disqualify us. We can’t do this alone. Pray as if it’s up to God, work as if it’s up to you.
Gosh I’m not perfect, far from it, my struggles are like yours; but surely we can be grateful for the lessons learned. Empathy to feel with others, courage and strength to face difficulty and Hope for eternity which is promised to us. Hope. It’s not about having a life without struggle but having Hope amidst that struggle... that’s a good place to start.