I want to tell you something that you haven’t heard...
You’re doing just fine.
Everything you go through will carry you to where you need to be.
You’re much smarter than you know, you’ve just never been taught to trust in your ability. You’re not the brightest in school but you’ll learn that it’s not the most important tool to get by in life.
Thanks for not paying attention in Maths. Your gazing out the window and daydreaming will open a Pandora’s box that you could only dream of. All those short stories you’re writing, created by your wild imagination, you’ll find when you’re 38 and it’ll trigger that love again.
I know that boy in class that called you a ‘wog’ and told you to ‘go back to your own country,’ made you blink back tears for some time and drove that horrible feeling that you were different. Forgive him. He was a child himself. Your dark curly hair, bushy eyebrows and olive skin that make you stare at envy at the ‘white aussies’ in your class will end up being quite a cool thing. And your culture that you shy from will turn into pride and something very special for you. The girls you idolise from far in fact end up becoming quite normal women, just like yourself.
You’ll make plenty of mistakes. Don’t let them define you. You will remember for some time, the lonely girls that needed your friendship. Your intention was never to hurt anyone, rather, belong. And an experience that will haunt you, was not your fault too.
I wish I could save you years of pain, and tell you that the constant agony in your stomach was undiagnosed anxiety. Your mum didn’t know better. It was a different time then. And the doctor telling you that it was due to too much sugar, was trying to solve an issue, though it never did. I can’t stop the way that you will suffer with this for some time but it will lead you to the right help, freedom, knowledge and empathy to help others.
I wish I could tell you to spread your wings and fly, to take risks, to stand up for yourself, to stop trying so hard to belong, and that your body is good enough.
Life was never meant to be that easy, nor your road so perfect, but you will see your choices as you grow.
But right now, you’re doing just fine 🌺